For couples who keep having the same fight about different things.
The Fight Was Never About the Dishes
A free 5-minute self-assessment that names the real pattern behind your arguments, so you and your partner can find your way back to each other.
Free download. Takes about 5 minutes. No spam, ever.
Why This Framework, and Why From Him
This isn't a generic relationship exercise. The Red Hat / Blue Hat model comes out of attachment theory, the same research that explains how people bond, protect each other, and fall apart when that bond feels threatened.
George Faller, LMFT, is a certified trainer and supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the model this assessment is built on. He trained directly under Dr. Sue Johnson, the psychologist who developed EFT, and is the founder and president of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. He now trains therapists around the world to use this same approach with their own clients.
Why This Framework, and Why From Him
See exactly which “hat” you and your partner default to when a fight starts, so you can catch the pattern while it's happening, not just after the damage is done.
Walk through your last real fight using five simple questions. The pattern shows up on paper instead of staying stuck in your head.
Find out if you're dealing with “blocked caregiving.” It's the most common pattern George sees, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with your relationship.
Get one practical move for the red hat and one for the blue hat, so you have something to actually do the next time things start to escalate.
Who's Behind This
George Faller is a husband, father, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Before therapy, he spent 20 years as a NYC firefighter and police officer, and he knows what it's like to run into the fire, literally.
After 9/11, he started doing couples therapy with firefighters and their spouses, the same nervous-system-stuck-in-fight-or-flight pattern this assessment is built to name.
He's been helping couples find their way back ever since, and now trains therapists around the world to do the same.
Ready to Name Your Pattern?
You don't need your partner to read this first. Start with your side of it. Five questions, five minutes, and you'll know exactly which hat you were wearing the last time things went sideways, and what to do differently next time.
Free download. Takes about 5 minutes. No spam, ever.
